Hey Friends,

Please share part of a story you’ve written or read that illustrates the idea of showing the reader information, not telling him/her.

Here’s my example from a story I wrote long ago for The Providence Journal (as near as I can remember it). The lead, something like:

“The town councilman and the aging widow had a deal: He would see to it that she never had to go into a nursing home; she would remember him in her will.

“So it was that (Town Councilman) seven years ago began taking supper each night to (Old Woman) in her rambling house on Sunderland Road. After she broke her hip for the second time, TC and his wife moved OW from the crumbling mansion, which lacks electricity and plumbing, into their rented house.

“TC did her banking. He oversaw her medical care. He washed her hair. He emptied her bedpan. He sat at her bedside and held her hand. And he fed her. He demonstrates by picking up a spoon and shaking it gently. “Fifty-four of them is in a bowl,” he says. “Fifty-four times to her mouth….”

Readers, I ask you: What about a man who counts the number of spoonfuls in a bowl of soup as he feeds this woman? How does he regard his task? Is he enjoying feeding her? Resenting it? Or….? You decide. As the writer, I haven’t told you how he feels about this – rather, through the use of his words and actions, I’ve shown you. You can decide whether he cared for the woman out of genuine concern and affection, or perhaps out of the hope of standing to gain by inheriting her substantial estate. (Or, as you read on, maybe some of both.)

Allowing readers to interpret the councilman’s motivation however they will makes for a more engaging, nuanced, richer and accurate story.

Your examples — or questions?

Colleen